He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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