then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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