I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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