I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
