Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
