I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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