he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
