I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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