He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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