Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
