okay pat passed out under dana's car
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize