talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
