it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
