Small penises have feelings too.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My dad is sitting where you rode me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
