Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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