can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You've changed since you got that strap on
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
