Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
third nipple confirmed
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize