Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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