for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
3pm strippers are depressing
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
