i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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