he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
