...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
