a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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