Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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