...so i touched it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
