The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
