DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
