My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
