so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Never underestimate the power of titties
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
