So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
