I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
