Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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