goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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