You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
