i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
