batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
