he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
