officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
