yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
