Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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