UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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