oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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