It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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