I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
