Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
