I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
