i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
