I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
