Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
