Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize