how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
