I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
