Just cropdusted the office
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize