He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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