hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
