I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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