is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
