i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
