No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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