So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
