The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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