Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
