i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize