We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
