woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize