Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize