you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize