i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
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